A Bit Nervous

I have my first appointment since I got my diagnosis from civilians, at the V.A. today. I am doing breathing excercises, but can already feel my anxiety going through the roof. I am afraid that I will not be able to control my temper. I want to tell ALL OF THEM that they should be ashamed of how they have treated us; those who keep them free. I want to SCREAM at the top of my lung that WE MATTER!!! 

Nothing that I have done, or said has made one bit of difference. Elected officials will not help- even in an election year. The patient advocate is a JOKE. They are doing LIFE SAVING, DIAGNOSTIC TESTS INCORRECTLY, and do not care. It makes me angry to think about how many veterans have lost their lives, just at my V.A. NOBODY CARES!

If this offends, too bad… If you work at a V.A., and are sitting idly by: you should be ashamed of yourself, AND I hope there is a special place in hell for you. 

I am just a little bit pissed, and PLEASE, do NOT tell me to get over it. I WILL get over it, but I have every right to vent!!!

I have spent the past 6 years trying to survive, while the V.A. was telling me I was fucking crazy. They ALMOST succeeded, I was very close to just killing myself. They made me believe that I was crazy, and ALL of this was in my head, even when all the medical evidence showed otherwise.

So, today, I have to deal with the gastroparesis, as well as find out what they are going to do about all the ovarian cycts I know apparently have. The V.A. did give me a dx of ischemia, which is when your intestines telescope back into iteself. It hurts, and can cause the intistine to die. Do you think they care about that? Nope. They just told me that it would keep happening, and hopefully, keep correcting itself. 

I think I am done venting. I am going to do some more breathing and play with my dogs. Have a good day. God bless. 🙂

I will let you know what happens…


10 thoughts on “A Bit Nervous

  1. bethanyk

    I want to reblog one of your posts if I can to bring awareness to the treatment our veterans get. Which should I reblog if I have your permission?
    I hope your appointment goes well!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is up to you. You would know which one non-veterans would understand, or get the most out of; I trust you to make the decision. Thank you for your concern. Veterans deserve to be treated better on every level.


  2. I always suspected that the patient advocate was more of an advocate to protect the bureaucracy than to protect the individual veteran. I know that some of those advocates are somewhat less than courteous to veterans when the veteran first goes to them with a problem. I have seen that much. I know that much. Do you work with any organizations that advocate for veterans?

    Liked by 1 person

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