I started this blog to try and get my feelings out of my body, and I have always enjoyed wrting(even though I had written NOTHING in years). I quickly became overwhelmed. At first, it felt freeing and healthy to get out my angst. Then, I began to feel YOUR pain and misinterpreted it for something else and I got my feelings hurt. Not that any of you knew this, but for that, I apologize. I am also CONSTANTLY fighting the urge to write, “if anybody reads this, or even cares”, due to the fact that I have been the listener and NEVER had another’s ear, or shoulder. The fact that even perfect strangers tell me their life stories, being the one EVERYONE came to in school for support. Shit, I was even voted “best shoulder to cry on” in my school yearbooks.
This part of my being an empath has affected me so much, that I got a tattoo of three tear drops on my shoulder in my twenties, as a symbol.
Since finding blogs from people with chronic illness and pain, as well as the empaths, I feel more free than I have EVER felt. It is so hard to describe. I know that I still have all the problems that I have myself; but I am encouraged that I can learn how to control and protect myself from other’s feelings. My physical pain nor illness will go away, but being able to recognize which are mine, and which are not, is going to be HUGE.
This understanding has also made me come back to actually blogging, and not just commenting on other’s blogs. I need to remind myself that my feelings are valid, it does not matter if ANYONE ever reads them, they are for ME. I will never be a rule follower(did enough of that in the Navy), so I don’t know all the rules of blogging and hope that I am not doing it incorrectly. Of course if I REALLY cared, I would have read all the rules, and DONE the excercises at blogger u, instead of just read them.
I want to thank all of you that have taken the time to read my words. A special thank you to those I have communicated with; you have all been kind and very helpful. I think I should stop blogging for now, thank you again and God bless.