Today

My husband had his THIRD compensation and pension exam, today for the V.A. We had to drive 100 miles away from our home just for this appointment. My husband has been suffering for ten long years. It is absolutely ridiculous!! I cannot tell you how frustrating this has been. He has PTSD, has had more than one TBI, and don’t even get me started on his physical issues(he jumped out of planes for a couple of decades). His records were all wrong; the doctors THERE were surprised that his records said that certain things were normal, when they so obviously were NOT normal. It seems to me that the employees at the V.A. do NOT care to do their jobs to the best of their abilities. 

I hear crying that whistle-blowers are getting fired. I do feel sorry for them; but I could give a SHIT about their jobs—WE ARE DYING FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL!!! I think it is TOTALLY wrong, that those who are shining a light on this utter madness get fired, but they are fucking with our LIVES, not just livlihood.

Guess WHO decides whether a veteran has a legitamate MEDICAL claim, or not? If you answered, well, a doctor of course, you would be sadly mistaken. Lay fucking people(no offense to non medical people). LAWYERS TELL THE DOCTORS WHAT TO ASK! Americans, and probably a lot of veterans do not know this. THIS IS HOW FUCKED UP THE V.A. IS; FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.

I got us a motel room for the night before, and night of his exam, so it would not be so stressful. Do you think the V.A. gives a SHIT that we had to drive 100 miles, when there are at least TWO V.A.s that do these that are closer. It is Motel 6- not the greatest, but it is clean, close to where we needed to go, and pet friendly. We have to pay for wi-fi, and had no damn phone in our room; then my fucking key card stopped working; right after 11 am(check-out time), and we paid for another night. Once I had to walk back to the office for a THIRD time, I was pissed. In the end; got the stupid phone that we will not use, and free wi-fi.

I am working on protecting myself from others’ emotions bombarding me, and learning how to sheild myself. For those of you who think that is nuts, alright. Just think about this: EVERYTHING is made up of energy, and everything is carbon based. I won’t get into the EMFs of different things. I absorb everyone elses energy; I FEEL what they feel. I have many times where I get a HUGE wave of a feeling(usually bad), and have no idea where it came from. I need to learn to differentiate between what feelings are truly mine, and which are others’. 

I realize this post does not flow very well, but neither are my thoughts, I guess. 

Oh by-the-way, I would REALLY REALLY appreciate if you would each call your senators and tell them to OPPOSE the Veterans First bill. It does NOT put us first. It takes SOO long to fire a bad VA employee; sometimes more than a year. This happens even when these bastards have been CONVICTED of crimes. THAT is how much they really care about us. This bill would also take away CAPS ON BONUSES FOR V.A. EMPLOYEES. We are dying; waiting A DECADE to get what we have fucking earned, and these morons have it MADE. 

I got a little inside information on MY V.A. There are several doctors that have PAGES AND PAGES of complaints, and still get their “performance” bonuses. I kid you not. If one knows they do NOT have to perform; what the hell can we do to change that? Way too many veterans are dying needlessly, and we need you, our countrymen, to stand with us, and be our voice. 

Thank you for reading, and your patience with my rambling. God bless.

My guys on our little hotel bed.