This is a picture of my mom, with her birthday cake. Her birthday was in June(notice no snow). She WAS Christmas– lived it every single day. She kept our tree up year round, with a box of presents, underneath.
I remember stopping kids at the front door, on their first visit, and saying something like, I know it is August, but the Christmas tree is still up. When you come in, my mom is going to give you a gift. Do not argue, just take it and say thank you.
She took care of newborns as a foster home. One of the adoptive parents even made my mom his GODMOTHER. She was devastated when my mom died.
I had a friend while I was in junior high, that lived up the street. She called one day, crying. Her mom was German, from Germany, and would not let her decorate their tree the way she wanted. She came to my house and helped us.
I have two brothers, and ALL our friends called her, mom.
I used to drag abused and neglected kids home from school on the bus, and she would always make sure they were safe, and taken care of. I bet her conversations with the bus driver were interesting.
All she EVER wanted to be, was a mom; and she was the BEST mom! My older brother and I are not quite 9 months apart, and were always in the same grade. In 5th grade, he went to a different school. I asked my brother why(whom I I IDOLIZED), and he said it was because he hated me. OUCH. So, I asked my mom. She told me that my brother was getting lost… He was known as Julie’s brother, not Jim. She changed his entire life for the better.
My very first T-shirt with print said, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”. This was 1979-1980. She wanted me to learn the piano; but I did not like it; so she made me a deal: learn how to play Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman, Hear me Roar”, and I could quit. That was a great deal, and so much fun sitting around the piano with her, BELTING out that tune!
She was the best friend I ever had. The best mom that anyone could ask for, and I am sure that I have disappointed the heck out of her. Maybe not. She used to tell me and my two brothers that all she wanted for us, was for us to be GOOD PEOPLE, and be happy. I think I am a good person; sometimes giving to a fault. I am working on the happy part…
somanyminutes 
A wonderful lady! She enjoyed life. I love her smile. I seriously doubt you could ever be a disappointment to her. She seems like a person who saw the good in people, understood individualism, believed in people walking their own path to their own music. She gave you a grand gift, the gift of the way she saw life. You have held it and used it all these years. In my youth we would have called her a “spitfire”. I am so glad you got to know her and got to spend time in her world. Thanks for sharing her with us. Be well. Hugs
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She was wonderful. She had severe TMJ. Had 7 jaw surgeries; 2 total joint replacements. I was in college for her 1st joint replacement and could not sleep. My college was not far away from her hospital, so I went. She was a svelt woman with a very small chest. She had me write, in Sharpie, on her chest, “Dolly Parton’s replacement parts”. Just to make her surgeon smile. She had a massive stroke during or after her 2nd total joint replacement. She had just turned 50. I hope she is not ashamed of me. I do hope that she is ashamed of my dad. Another story for another time.
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One thing I think I can say.. she treasured you. She would not ever be ashamed of you. Be well. Hugs
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Thank you. Hugs to you, too!
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Seven jaw surgeries… I was only able to suffer through one. Your mother must have been so courageous…
Being a good mother is extremely difficult. It’s the hardest job in the world. Your post made me cry… thinking that I wish I had been a better mother. I doubt my son would say such great things about me. How wonderful that you and your mother had each other. 🙂
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My kids would not have great things to say about me, either. She was very brave. I have TMJ, as well. The discs that are supposed to be the cushion between my jaw and my skull are not there. She told me that if I could stand the pain, to NEVER, EVER get surgery on my jaw. You have TMJ?
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Before I had TMJ surgery, I had 7 different splints (which insurance didn’t cover), along with just about every therapy known to man. It felt like surgery was my only option at the time. Looking back on it now, I don’t think I’d do it again. The post-op physical therapy was pure torture.
My surgeon decided to remove one of my discs because it was damaged beyond repair, something the MRIs didn’t show. I’ve known some TMJ patients who had total joint replacement and I would never advise that, but desperation can make people try anything. Thing is, I think my surgery caused another condition: Trigeminal Neuralgia. Major bummer.
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What is Trigeminal Neuralgia? While I was in the Navy, they did and arthrocentsis(sp), where they put two needles in each joint, and tried to “flush” my discs back into place. It did not work. Then they made me wear a splint all the time, except when eating. My teeth would not touch. Ist never chew gum, all that good stuff. I grew up seeing my mom suffer; especially after her surgeries. During her first total joint replacement, they used this stuff called Proplast to cushion the bolts screwed into her head. It was not FDA approved, and caused tumors on her head, and made her bones paper thin. She was rear ended by a semi sitting at a red light, which broke both her condyles. That made the second joint replacement needed. On a good note, she was written up in journal and SHE is the reason insurance companies consider TMJ medical, not dental! Yeah for my mom!
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Insurance companies treat TMJ as medical and not dental? That’s news to me. Social Security Disability doesn’t even have a category for TMJ. It’s like this condition doesn’t even exist, according to them. If you want to learn more about Trigeminal Neuralgia, you can look it up on Google. Or you can read my take on it:
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This was in the 80’s. Maybe it is just Blue Cross Blue Sheild. That is disgraceful! I have seen first hand, how much you all suffer.
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Good God. Sometimes, the side of my face swells, and I have this intense pain in my joint. The longest it has lasted, is a week. I could not imagine going through even that on any regular basis. God bless you, and your strength.
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My face swells, too. Especially when I talk or smile too much. Good thing I’m an introvert. 🙂
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My jaw was pretty good when I was isolating. I would go weeks without speaking a word. 🙂
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I used to go weeks without speaking a word, too, but I find that my jaw joints needs some stretching every once in awhile. That’s why I started music therapy, because singing is good for my TMJ and it helps me do breathing exercises:
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